


Takebacks

by callmeonetrack



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Amnesia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Guilt, Love Confessions, Smooching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9458576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmeonetrack/pseuds/callmeonetrack
Summary: Kara's life has always been about moving on, not looking back. Right now though, she desperately, fervently wants a takeback.





	

_Serves me frakking right_ , Kara thinks. 

She stands just outside the drawn curtain. It's transparent enough that she can make out the outline of his body on the bed, and she watches Lee sleep, her eyes tracing the slow rise and fall of his chest. 

It's the fourth night in a row she's crept down here to Sickbay and stood sentinel in the shadows, and Kara's exhausted even her own enormous capacity for guilt by now. Tonight, her ears aren't filled with the sound of gunfire, her eyelids don't serve as a movie screen for Lee's bleeding body falling to the ground. A different memory floods her senses. 

She can almost taste the ambrosia on her lips still. And she can feel the heat of his fingers, warm on her skin, touching her everywhere, and then the cool metal of the table under her back as they tumbled down.

And then, though she wishes she didn't, she remembers the rest. Their harsh, angry words echoing in the bunkroom: " _There's nothing here. Do you get that?_ " and " _You're fine with the dead guys, it's the living ones you can't handle_!"

Her stomach churns sickly at the irony. Lee was right, as usual. Isn't that why she's standing here? Why she comes every night?

Gods, she's frakked this up. Frakked him up. Frakked them up, so badly. Bitterness and regret and nostalgia rise like bile in her throat, so thick she can hardly breathe. He'll never forgive her. She'll never forgive herself. 

Kara Thrace's life has always been about moving on, not looking back. Forging ahead. Fighting through. It's the only way she knows how to survive. Right now, in this moment, though, Kara desperately, fervently, wants a takeback.

Lee's chest falls and doesn't rise again--and Kara's breath catches. She's got a hand fisted in the curtain, already pulling it aside, foot hovering to break the invisible barrier, when Lee shifts in the bed, rolling toward her. She gasps, air filling her lungs again, and almost misses what he murmurs. 

" -ry, Kara. So...sorry."

The low whisper of her name freezes the blood in her veins. Why is he apologizing to _her_? What the frak?

Lee's previously peaceful face creases in a pained expression, though his eyes are still shut tight and a strangled moan, loud, rips from his throat cutting the silence. 

Without thinking, Kara steps past the curtain, right up to his bedside and crouches, one hand shaking his shoulder. "Lee. Lee, wake up," she hisses. "You're... dreaming or something."

His eyelids pull open and his eyes widen, mouth dropping open. "You're here," Lee breathes, lips pulling up into a smile. "You're okay." His words are uttered in such an awed, grateful tone that Kara's knees actually buckle.

She sinks down in the chair next to the bed and her hand automatically drifts down to grip his. "Yeah, I'm- I'm fine." Kara's brow creases in confusion. "Lee, what are you talking-"

But he's not done. "Cain," he croaks, voice rusty from disuse. "I thought Cain would- I wasn't there. Had to- had to eject."

Kara's mind is reeling, and it takes her a full minute to process what he's saying. He's talking about the Pegasus, the assassination mission.

Lee's squeezing her hand, grip surprisingly strong for a recovering invalid. "Kara, I'm so sorry. I was so afraid you'd-" Lee stops, shakes his head against the pillow, and Kara can see the sheen of actual tears in his eyes when he looks up at her again. "But you're here." 

Kara is floored. Lee's obviously suffering from some kind of brain trauma. He thinks it's months ago. He probably doesn't even remember what happened on the Rising Star. On his date with Dee. Her thoughts flicker into fast forward. Maybe he doesn't remember that either. Or them...the table. Maybe he doesn't remember any of it.

"Kara?" he questions, hand squeezing hers again. And she realizes in a flash of clarity and gratitude so deep it practically rips a hole in her chest, this is it. This is her chance. 

Somehow the gods were listening. 

"Yeah," she answers, softly. "Yeah, Lee, I'm here." And then, she leans over and she kisses him. Just presses her lips to his and stays there. She can feel tears sliding down her cheeks, and Kara's not sure if they're hers or his.

When she finally shifts back in her chair, he blinks, but his fingers twine even tighter with hers. "Kara, what-" 

She flushes, heart hammering in her chest. "I've...kinda wanted to do that for a really long time." His eyes are confused, but Lee's face just ripples into this huge frakking smile, and Kara takes a breath. 

He shifts and her eyes catch sight of the bandage on his left shoulder and Kara stiffens a little as her conscience pricks at her. "Lee, I-" She has to explain. If this is their new beginning, she wants to start it with a clean slate. "You're not in sickbay because of the Blackbird accident. You... you don't remember but you got shot." Kara takes a deep breath. "I shot you, by accident."

He listens quietly, a little too quietly, but he doesn't let go of her hand, and that keeps her talking, explaining it all. Well, not quite all. She leaves out that night in the bunkroom. On the table. It was only the two of them anyway, and that's a memory better left unremembered. But she tells him about the weeks that have passed, the gunmen in the bar, even that he was with Dualla on a date. Lee's look of surprised confusion never wavers. 

Finally there's nothing left to tell and Kara stops talking. She waits, stomach roiling, fighting the urge to stand up and leave now that it's all out there. She's certain he'll pull his hand away any second now, once he processes the fact that he has a girlfriend and Kara nearly got him killed. But Lee doesn't move, doesn't say anything just keeps looking at her with that baffled expression. She nearly tosses her cookies at the thought that she might have to go through it all again because he didn't understand the first time.

"Lee, did you get any of that?"

He nods slowly. "A cylon killed Cain. I'm dating Dee. Hostages held up the bar and you tried to save the day, and I got caught in your friendly fire." 

"Yeah," Kara says and waits for it to come, the recrimination and shouting and disgust. But it doesn't and finally she heaves an exasperated sigh. "Well, don't you have anything to say?" 

He nods. "How long?"

"Well, you've been in sickbay four days, but--"

"No," he interrupts. "How long have you wanted to do that?" 

"Oh," she flushes. "Uh..."

"Never mind. I don't care." He grins and yanks on her hand, pulling her forward and practically on top of him. He lets her hand go finally, but only to reach up and lay his hand against her cheek. 

"But, what about--"

"Nope. I don't care. Don't care about any of it. Just this." He tugs her down, kisses her softly, then deeper, his lips parting hers, his tongue tentatively exploring her mouth. By the time, they come up for air, Kara's head is feeling a little fuzzy too. He wraps his arms around her in a hug, and Kara's head falls to his shoulder. Lee whispers into her ear, "I love you, Kara Thrace."

She smiles against his neck and nestles closer. "I love you, too," Kara breathes, relieved to finally say it. 

She won't tempt the gods again. This time, there'll be no takebacks. 


End file.
